dearly beloved
Vol. 4 | Issue 10 | July 2023 – putting this one out quick time for Lyth.
Thoughts or something like it
I am getting married, which means I am on a vigorous search for London venues. Not oblivious to how expensive the process is, I have come to realise that the process to marry is itself also complicated in the UK and most European countries. Venue searching unearths ridiculous bureaucracy and processes that are completely unnecessary. Sure, venues have caterers they prefer to work with, but I was not prepared for other ‘requirements.’ Some highlights:
Specifying what types of drinks you can’t bring
Forcing you to hire security (I don't drink, there will be no booze at the wedding, and I do not hang out with hooligans or people who can't hold their liquor)
Locking the gates at 5pm, and you have to call the event manager every time someone wants to leave (unless you hire a security guard of course!)
Specifying what flowers you can bring. According to one venue, other flowers have “damaged” their space. Maybe Poison Ivy was a guest at that wedding.
One venue actually wrote that “due to the fact that the buildings are listed, all catering would need to be supplied by one of our approved suppliers.” I’m not sure how food can damage a listed building (I feel this one targets people of colour because it’s referring to those of us who cook with spice).
Specifying what DJ you can bring (!!!)
Charging fees for external caterers (and getting offended if you're not fond of the menu they present) PLUS a 10% commission
Corkage fee on soft drinks while only offering about 2 options for non alcoholic drinks beyond soft drinks, one includes sparkling water
One venue told me their prices were rising by 10% and when I got the adjusted quote it was 45%…
One venue will not allow a DJ to use their equipment because of health and safety
And then, when I approached a DJ about playing the wedding, they replied by saying I don’t do weddings because it’s not “on brand.” If that shit ain’t peak millennial…
All in all, you are looking at a minimum £12,000, including suffering with ugly chairs the venue chose to invest in, and some toilets whose status make you wonder what are they doing with all that money in the first place.
Then there’s the torturous phone calls of people insisting you email because they have to check availability (this is what I miss about Arab countries, you can just go visit without an appointment or no one makes a big fuss about when’s a good time). Or people who have numbers but never answer the phone. People who call you back, then don’t answer, then text you to email.
The UK: constantly a place of things you cannot do.
Searching for a venue also means Instagram is now on the case and offering its services as a free wedding planner, ensuring I receive ads for bridal dresses way beyond my price point, apps, photographers, event planners, and florists. But yet, not an ad for a venue in site (get it together algorithm).
I am always up to have people who do great things recommended to me. A chef/caterer, a DJ who is a wizard with both Arabic and English, a fashion designer who makes lovely dresses, a videographer and a photographer, HIT ME UP.
Be well,
Danah (The Pessoptimist)
Things
Wrote this essay titled “Design education, disrupted”. Read it here.
My lecture the ‘myth’ of Global Design History (part of BIPOC Design History’s Design Histories in Southwest Asia & North Africa: Voices from the SWANA Diaspora course), can be purchased here.
We hosted an edition of Countless Palestinian Futures in Beirut in June, and we are coming to Santiago, Chile in August. Details to book here. (We also redesigned the game, and we have a website!
Links
Read
I don’t have much to suggest since I’m in that phase of reading fragments of books for research and not fully finishing them. I’ve been picking up books that play with form and currently enjoying Brian Eno’s A Year with Swollen Appendices.
Watch
Abbott Elementary: mockumentary’s can be a bit repetitive, but this one is worth watching for the character Ava Coleman (played by Janelle James) alone. She is magic.
Friday Night Dinner: every episode is funnier than the next.
Listen
I now have a digital radio (highly recommended), listening to internet radio channels like NTS and Radio Al Hara and discovering others from around the world. The low key channel on NTS plays some great hip-hop, but they have shows covering a range of genres.
CDs transformed music by increasing the length of albums and the number of tracks. Normally, each album only has 2-3 good songs and you skip the rest, but Fountain Baby by Amaarae sticks to 40 minutes, and you can listen to it uninterrupted.
Pourquoi by Stella: catchy French cover of Carli Simon’s Why.